I underestimated being a parent.
I don't mean I underestimated all the love, sacrifice, adjusting, etc.. ok, yea, I kinda did.
I did underestimate how fast and how sneakily time would get away from me, I quickly set aside all of my personal endeavors to focus on being a Mom and a homemaker.. which I don't at all regret, I felt that was the center of my life at that point and while, quite obviously, my daughter is still the center of my life, I need not completely forget myself and what makes me...me.
Tennessee & I had Pink (not her real name, but her fiercely used nickname) back in June of 2013..which seems like a LONG time ago now.. since then, as you can imagine, there's been a tsunami of adjustments. Don't get me wrong, this kid is easy and goes with the flow practically all the time but you can't help but adjust as you reach each stage and once they are crawling, the game changes and once they walk, the game is never the same.
I work from home, have for some time and the game plan was (is) my husband watched her during the day and I took over around 3 or so as he worked nights. This worked pretty solidly for the first 5-7 months until she started getting really active and my husband started getting really tired from working 7 days a week, running on little sleep, working nights and doing his best to entertain a tiny one fascinated with the world.
We scrapped that plan decided that at the end of the day, it would be simpler if he moved to first shift, I watched our daughter all day and we all convened at night like a normal type family for dinner and such.
Currently, this is still the beat we drum to and most days = it works. Somedays? Yea, I'd rather not mention.
But, pre-preschool is on the horizon and in general, we are a happier family than before by a long shot.
I have definitely figured out a good groove at this point but getting here was a bit tough and I have had some low personal moments up to this but I've decided this year I am going to be in more control of my time, use it more wisely, start to get back to some of the things I enjoy now that my daughter is a little bit older and can participate or can self-entertain a bit better and regain some my things.. one of these things is this, blogging.. I do miss it..and my photography..and cooking new things..and exploring.
At this point, I think parenting is going to be a non-stop learning process and I need to remember to keep my mind open at all times, for what worked yesterday isn't necessarily granted to work for you today.. and that is ok.
So, here we go.